Coming to Terms with my High School Life?

I am not a 'high-agari' in heart.
During the three years in high school, I lead a life parallel in time to 'high school life'. It was a life that took place in the same place as 'high school life', but it was never 'high school life'.
Some parts of this life I shared partially, to some friends. But for the most part, it belonged solely to me. And 'high school life' was a river that I never sailed down.


By chance or by fate, I got to revisit my high school (ICUHS) for the first time today (Kominami and Kaori will verify this). And it was most strange. Quite surreal. Bizarre.
It was an experience that made me come to terms with my past -- my 'high school life'.

Because, you see, in high school, I did not lead the 'high school life' as my fellow classmates.

I was quite reluctant to join the crowd; at times I felt like wanting to have nothing to do with ICUHS culture, and I gave up the effort to remember people's names from very early on. I rejected ICUHS culture, though not openly, and I can say for myself that I did not fit in (although I believe I was somewhat of a central part to the class, and perhaps to the entire grade).

People, of course, were great, and I knew that they were good people, and loved them and wished them well, but things just did not feel right (you have to take my word for it!). I wished to be left alone.

So I 'liberated' myself by going solo most of the time, and pursuing the ideas in my head to my heart's content.
I drew landscapes on the entire blackboard, wandered around the forest, disregarded popular flow, dragged timber infront of the classroom (to use as a bench), sang random songs to random people randomly, ate everyone's snacks, made a corner of the library my room, glided from social group to another... , but basically spent the entire high school life lying in the courtyard gazing up at the sky.

Now this, it turns out, proved very bad, for I came to be quite well-known for these actions (which I am myself to blame). One of my former classmates reminded me today: through popular vote, the Student Council officially gave me the title 'Free-going ICU-kinda guy'. Which sounds nice, I know, but it signified that I was very much a part of ICUHS culture.

But anyways, my attitude doomed me to lead an overall fake social life with weak human relations. And when I revisited ICUHS today, I was let down. I expected to find a part of my history, but there was nothing to grasp. I was a complete stranger in my own high school. The courtyard that I loved was completely foreign. It was as if I had no past. That was completely strange.

Kaori seemed to sympathise. She said that the loss of the past, of something familiar, is always frightening. And the friend who took me there also claimed something similar.
And as I took refuge in a desolate room, three comrades came in, also in retreat. They were people with similar feelings, of similar history (or non-history), whom I had never met. This was also most strange. We immediately sympathised with one another, and it felt as if we had been friends during our high school years.

...

to be continued (perhaps?)